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Written for the 750th issue of a successful newspaper

To Corbin, Jack and others who

Make up the sturdy Chron

It seems to be appropriate

To stop and ponder on

The words, the stories -- characters

Who've played a role throughout

The pages of The Chronicle --

What higher ed's about.

 

For purposes of brevity

(Perhaps of ease, to boot)

We'll not go back to olden times;

Some current topics suit

Our versifying fine, so let's

Begin with Marginalia.

The letters readers write accord it

Genuine regalia.

 

The Briefs are handy; one may glean

Much info quite concisely.

Just short enough, yet long enough,

To do the job quite nicely.

And "Notes on" are a pleasant break

From academe's effusions.

For example, Bennett's cries,

Or Gardner's sad delusions.

 

The booklist, indispensable,

Is keeping scholars in

The newest wave of erudition

But 'tis quite a sin

That each and every teacher can't

Be privy to the list

Of books reviewed by Angus Paul

They know not what they've missed.

 

Cheryl and her crew are keeping

Busy on the Hill.

If federal metamorphoses

Occur, the "Wa" team will

Punch stories out no matter if

An aide resigns at seven.

Were Gardner struck by lightning, would

It be "from God" in heaven?

 

Lots of laughs arise from taking

Ads from every state.

Is it too much to ask of teachers

To enunciate

Their punctuation in a way

That doesn't taint their pride?

For instance, is a "slash" an

"Up-and-down thing" on its side?

 

It's not to say that all

Administrators have a lack

Of sense about the language, but

For humor, they've a knack.

It's only that the voices come

From higher education.

And that is why such gaffes

Are always causing a sensation.

 

With chieftains such as Eamon Kelly,

Deadline's quite exciting:

Why make decisions quickly?

Thursday's fine for all the fighting.

With Malcolm soaring o'er the globe,

Our readers get a view

Of distant higher ed --

Appreciate ours here, we do.

 

The POV is always fun;

Our readers vie for space.

Some really give the back page verve,

While some are tossed, apace.

We could go on; the features of

The Chron have stood time's test.

Congrats for all the issues past,

Good luck for all the rest.

 

Three-quarters of a millenary --

Issue after issue.

Surely cause for everyone

To smile and to wish you

All congratulations! May

Next issue gaily spawn

As many more successes.

Chroniclers, we say: "Write on!"

 

 
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